soul-friend petites sharing a giggle

[if you’re just joining this series, be sure to check out the first two parts here and here]

i thought i had told the whole story.


i wrote and i wrote, trying to connect the dots and say it clear:  why i come here  to this space,  why i spill words  of friend-awe, of God-love, of legacy being built … but the lump that is still caught in my throat says i haven’t said all.  not yet.


it’s true that i write here because Sonya is  my “Ya-Ya” sister,  a friend whose thoughts i can read, whose pain i often feel — pangs of empathy-drenched grief that wake me in the morning, so fresh and so real …

and it’s also true that i write here because Drason is my partner-in-crime, a man who laughs hard and loves well — the leader of an organization that i wholeheartedly believe that God is using to do wondrous things …

but there’s another reason … one that i keep so close to my heart that i haven’t even shared it with Sonya or Drae.  about  a promise i once made.


parents who read here know it well:  there is nothing quite like the love that you feel for your children.  child-love is a lighthouse  in those early months when sleep is short and crying is long;
it is a buoy  to cling to when the rest of the world goes crazy.  one lisped, sweet word from my little boy is stronger than Prozac at changing my foul moods.  it’s a God-gift.

clowning around, the day the famous photo from this post was taken

when my besties, those girls you now know as J.A.C.K.A.S.S, started having babies, i learned that soul-friend-love passes through amniotic fluid — for  i loved their children  like i love my own.

and therein lies the problem:  i loved their children like i love my own, which means that, too often, looking back, i took them for granted.  assumed their toothy grins and drooly chins would always greet me at a playdate — felt sure that i was safe in not spending time just staring intently at their changing faces, for  time seemed to stretch on endless  before me.

Just an ordinary day … feeling the kick of that sweet boy from within

oh, how this fills me with regret.

it’s true:  soul-friends beget soul-friend petites … and a new generation of love goes forth.


i’ll say it here — officially calling “dibs” on the world wide web — that Livi is my Beckham’s girlfriend.  future wife, if arranged marriages make a comeback.

Livi and Bex:  Summer Lovin’ 2008

those two have been sweet on each other since early on — way back before Beckham insisted on constantly smooching her and Livi enjoyed bossing him around (sounds just like a real marriage, no?).

i love  to watch  them love  each other.


and so on October 28th of last year, when I showed up on Sonya’s front doorstep, I was giddy with excitement for two reasons.  The first was that I got to see this face: 

and to kiss his tiny nose and breathe in the scent on the back of his neck … and he was exactly as a baby should be, all needy and honest in his cries, heart wide open and pure.  His tiny fingers curled around one of mine — he clung to me the way we’re called,  faith like a child, to cling  to the Word … the way his mama and daddy cling to Jesus now.


and there’s a snapshot that haunts me … for it reminds me of  that promise made: