“Part of every misery is, so to speak, the misery’s shadow or reflection: the fact that you don’t merely suffer but have to keep on thinking about the fact that you suffer. I not only live each endless day in grief, but live each day thinking about living each day in grief.”
– C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed
This morning the sun came up on another day that Bane Beasley wasn’t here.
I’m not even his mama, and there was a small part of me that, knowing that, gave serious consideration to just staying in bed. How do you live in a world where such terrible things can happen?
The answer to that question: from my friend Sonya, who, it just so happens, is his mama.
“There is pain everywhere, and I want Bane’s legacy to be about helping that pain. You don’t have to be a huge charity to find people who are hurting … you just look around and you’ll find people who need your help.”
Sonya Stokes-Beasley, August 18, 2010
You see, the Beasleys aren’t wallowing in their grief. Empowered by a Spirit — and the memory of a sweet face — they are putting their grief to work, filling the empty days with thoughts on how to use the pain of their tragedy to bring healing to many.
So many of you have commented here, have sent emails or cards that have said:
“If there’s anything I can do … “
Today, on behalf of Sonya and Drason, I’m telling you that there is something you can do — each one of you:
You can do good.
Starting today, a regular feature on this site will be something we’re calling The Bane Bane Game, which will allow all of you who read here to participate beyond giving money to the charity. That idea, that Bane’s legacy will be one of goodness and hope, is pulling his mama and daddy through these hard days. Sonya and Drason have also visited here, and reading your comments has been so uplifting for them. We would love for you to participate, and to come back and tell us about it.
Want to play? Here’s how:
step one: Get out of bed.
step two: Go about your normal day.
step three: Realize that there is no such thing as a normal day. Choose to see today as a gift, regardless of what’s on your schedule.
step four: Open your eyes; ask God to give you new eyes to really see what’s happening around you.
step five: Find one person — could be the cashier at the grocery store, could be the old lady across the street, could be someone in your own family – but find one person who has a need that you could fill.
step six: Think of Bane Bane. Know that even the smallest people and the tiniest acts of kindness can be used by God in big ways to bring change to those around you.
step seven: Give help to that one person, seeking to fill his/her need, however big or small.
step eight: Consider telling them Bane’s story and how you’ve been challenged to pay it forward, bringing small acts of kindness to those who need it.
step nine: If you blog, write a post about your experience playing the Bane Bane game.
step ten: Come back here on Monday and share your story. If you’re not a blogger, leave your story in the Comments section. If you blog, there will be a space to link your post.
I want Sonya and Drason to see Bane’s legacy living on in the hands and feet of those who have been touched by his story … so, please, in the midst of your busy weekend, find one person to bless.
Remember that your act doesn’t have to be some huge gesture. The kindest man who ever lived said that even a cup of cold water given to someone who is thirsty earns the praise of Heaven. So, call or visit a friend who’s feeling down. Refrain from shouting at someone who deserves it. Say something nice to a total stranger. In all of these small ways, we’ll pay tribute to that small boy who is shaking us awake with his legacy of giving back.
What an awesome game this will be! It will be amazing to watch Bane's Legacy spread like wild fire. I can't wait to share a story and read others. It is amazing how Bane has cleared the fog away from so many things for me. Things that I thought were ok but can be so much better. Bane along with Sonja, Drason and Livi have sparked a flame in my heart that has always been there but just flickering instead of burning bright like it should be. My prayers for you all continue. Thank you so much for sharing Bane with the world. What a GREAT example your family is for all.
I'm in! Some times I might not be able to do the blog posting bit because I've become a tad sporadic in my posts, but I will be playing along!
Prayers for you all. Sweet little Bane will be remembered.
I wanna play, too!
I'm working today at the hospital and Amanda brought in a card and Bane's picture. We are a recipient of the Bane Bane Game….I prayed for you just a few moments ago. I'm so sorry.
What an awesome idea! I will play! Praying for all of Bane's family.
Can't wait to play!
Hi Sonya and Drason,
I love you and admire you sooo much. In coping with your grief, you are such a shining example for all of us. You are an encouragement to worlds of people. Your sweet Bane will never be forgotten. That's for sure! I am playing the Bane Bane Game!
No matter what I am doing through out the day the Bane Bane Game is never far from my mind. This game has truly had an impact on my way of thinking as a Christian. Bane was small but his story is massive. I know it has touched alot of people. People who may feel unworthy to share there acts of kindness because they seem so small but I have found that sharing a smile, laugh or hug is one of the greatest gifts of all.