Sweet Baby Bane has a birthday.

Notice the verb.

Not sweet Baby Bane had a birthday, he has one.

It’s October 23rd.  And it will always be his.

Now, the look of that day has changed this year.  Plans that were being brainstormed around — the theme (maybe a jungle theme, to match his favorite night night …),  the outfit he’d wear (the boy dressed to the nines, like his daddy), the cake (oh, the cake.  that boy loved him some cake!) — all of these have changed.

Because of the way his story has changed, there will be things lost.  The video of him toddling around with his little buddies, of him liking the wrapping paper more than the gifts, the hundreds of photos of his milestone very first “cake face,”  all of those have vanished, are on the long list of “things we won’t enjoy with him this side of heaven.” it’s a list that will grow longer with time, and it grieves his mama’s soul, y’all.  it grabs his daddy by the throat sometimes.

but there is one list that will be even longer — much longer — for his birthday this year:

the guest list.

because if you’re reading this, you’re invited.
and your mama’s invited.  and your brother and your sister and that third cousin twice removed of yours who you only see at Thanksgiving.  they’re all invited.Bane has a birthday, and this year that day will be an emotional one.

And Sonya and Drason are showing, as they have shown every day since Bane’s death, that they will face pain with great courage, that they will  spin sorrow into something Bane would have been proud of.

They have determined that when life hands you gut-wrenching, you can do one of two things:

I am pleased to announce, here in this space, the latter:

In fact, if you want to walk the entire five kilometers  holding the hand of your own toddling babe, well that would make us smile real big.  All you need are some comfortable shoes and a heart for a great cause.