falling in love, again.

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you might be sitting across a table, exchanging nervous glances and thousand-watt grins, on your first excursion  back into dating after a hard break-up …

 

or maybe you’re having your fingers  bathed in puppy breath, staring into the begging eyes that peek through the cage at a local animal shelter after losing a four-legged friend …

 

or maybe you’re bent face down in the aisle of a church – wrestling with a faith you thought you’d abandoned long ago – feeling God-breathed words bask you in such light that your skepticism, your past hurts and grievances, seem to vanish as the view of a Savior wholeheartedly different than you’ve ever known becomes clear as a church bell before you.

 

not first love … but  love, again.

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when my second child was placed, wet and blinking, on my chest, i was struck with a rush of maternal affection that was similar – and yet wholly distinct – from what i had experienced the first time around.  i found the experience remarkable – how  the old familiar and the new peculiar comingled to form something altogether its own.  our first exchange took place, not in words, but through quizzical stares.

 

it sneaks up on you a bit – nothing like the way they play it in the movies –

this  falling in love, again.

 

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it’s a process both immediate and painstakingly, calculatingly slow.

a jolt of emotion and a quiet, steady drip of choosing to walk the footsteps that 

all who love must make:  through sacrifice, through fear, into surrender.

 

all the while, as you walk, you have memories, like dandelion fuzz, clinging to your sleeves, your eyelashes, woven into wisps of your hair.  they remind you that you’ve seen this territory before – been there, done that, got the scar to prove it — that beneath the patches of velveteen clover, there are land mines, littered invisible.

 

you walk on anyway …

 

because, really, what is your other choice?

 

while choosing love may bring pain, refusing love is certain death.

 

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i marvel, as i have so many times in the past 8 months since that sweet first son went home to his Father, at the silent bravery of my soul friends.  the way that they are choosing this more-love, this again-love, in the face of such adversity is evidence of His grace, how it flows best through the most broken of vessels.

 

how they love Him.

 

and each other.

 

and her …

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and him …

bane beach

 

 

and now, him …

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each love  singular and specific and rare … and yet,

all pouring from the same spout:

the very One who created us to marvel at the intricacies of our diversity.

 

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the soft curl of this one’s hair,

the cavernous dimple on this one’s cheek,

the cat’s mew cry of this one’s voice.

 

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every minute detail … is  a love letter from God written into our very DNA.

 

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and this life, precious and short,

ought be spent reading as many as we can

and offering our praise

to the Author.

 

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the stories he writes are all stories of love … and we are invited to see them,

to read them on human skin …

and to fall in love – all over again.

 

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posting may be a bit slow here for a time, as we soak up and savor the gift of a second son.  we ask your prayers for Sonya and Drason, for Livi and Bayo, as they adjust to being a family of four, for peace and rest as they meet emotions both tender and tough, and for the work of Banebow, as this family continues to build a legacy in honor of Bane.

  1. Cherie

    I love it!!!!!

  2. emily

    amazing… truly amazing. this baby boy has captured my heart (just as all of the beasley family has already done so).

  3. Alyssa

    Sending love and prayers your way. HE knows exactly what to give us and it is never more than we can handle. You guys have an amazing family.

  4. joann

    The stories He writes are all stories of love.

    I need this tattooed on my forehead, this thing that is so hard to remember. Thank you. And CONGRATULATIONS!

  5. Joey

    Beautifully written. Such a beautiful family. God Bless you all.

  6. Christy

    BEAUTIFUL!

  7. Phyllis Minor

    This story touches my heart like nothing has in such a long time. I am so happy for you, Sonya and Drason. Beautifully written and illustrated with pictures of your beautiful children, I couldn’t be happier for you. God bless you and your family. My love to you all.

  8. Dana

    May God continue to bless their family with peace & love! What beautiful children Sonya & Drason have created!

  9. Jenny Noble Anderson

    Yet another beautiful post, Kelli! The pictures interspersed throughout truly melt my heart. Bayo has joined a very special family–far bigger than the one within the walls of Sonya and Drason’s home. He is so loved- as are his big brother and big sister. Sending hugs the size of canyons and hope immeasurable. I love you Sonya and Drason!

  10. jeanamelee

    great post keli….
    i needed that “good cry” of love and sweet peace.
    i love these guys so, so much.

  11. Peggy Stokes

    Keli, been off my computer two months or more, but I will catch up. Your writing is Beautiful as ever. I always enjoy seeing those faces of the LITTLE ONES we Love so dearly. THANK YOU FOR ALL YOU DO oon this website and in person for OUR FAMILY> WE always pray for you.

  12. Dana

    hello, old friend. another beautiful post. oh the JOY that has returned, once more, with this new love. thank you for so perfectly (as always) portraying it. i miss you. 🙂