do small to do big



breath mints are small things.

you package them with bottled water, scented candles, and cleaning supplies and it still doesn’t add up to much, really.

unless the people on the receiving end of them have just experienced this…

… have just watched a life-altering tragedy flash by as a blurb in the newspaper.

an elderly mama.  a fire that engulfed.  a son who held her hand, powerless. a family left behind grieving hard and asking hard, hard questions.

this past week, Sonya and Drae continued Bane’s legacy of paying it forward by visiting the family affected by this tragedy. it wasn’t much: just a care package given to the family of the lost one, from a family who knows how small things — breath mints, even — can help the days of funeral, the days of heart hurt, go a little easier.  they aren’t celebrities, so no TV cameras followed them, but they heard of a need and they thought of a child and a Savior who asks us to be his hands and feet.  and they went.

will you go, too, this week?

will you play The Bane Bane Game?

it ministered to them both so much last week, reading your posts, knowing that you’re looking around for ways to pay it forward.  much gratitude to those who played.

and for those who are on the sidelines, wanting to jump in, an awesome quote i stole from Carrie’s post this week, where she talks about playing the game with her kiddos:

It’s funny because I’ve told them about the game all week, and we’ve been praying that the Lord would bring just the right people and just the right circumstances into our lives. And actually, I’ve been hesitant to do certain things and even more hesitant to write about them because I felt like playing the game to honor this precious boy and his sweet family should involve some major act of generosity, helping someone who was truly desperate. You know, something big.


But what my children reminded me of today is that Bane was little. And they taught me that playing the Bane Bane game doesn’t always need to be something big. It is just about showing kindness, giving help that is motivated from a heart that is grateful.

if your heart is grateful, too, won’t you play — even if you don’t quite know what to do, what to say?

To play means this:   you do one small act of kindness.  small.  and you come here and you tell of it — anonymously if need be — in the Comments section (or for bloggers, using the Linky).

because sometimes small acts — and small people — can add up to big things.


and the life you change may be your own.


enter your posts in the Comments or below:

  1. Anonymous

    as everyone thinks….so did i. if i wanted to play the Bane-Bane Game, it would have to be something so wow! When would i get MY chance?
    I was sitting in the mcdonald's line last week watching as the clock ticked seconds, then minutes…as i waited patiently to get my turn to the checkout window so i could hurry up and get to work. As i payed for my little coffee and biscuit, it hit me! PLAY THE GAME NOW! Now? How? I looked in the side mirror of my Denali and there they were. faced forward –watching straight ahead for their turn in line…two middle aged ladies` who looked to be headed to the same place I was…work. I did not know them nor they me.
    that's when I said, "I'd like to pay for that car behind me too". Course the worker looked at me in an odd way, but went ahead and took my money. "I DID IT!" i said deep inside…. and it felt so very good. yes, it was an 'ever-so-small' task, but oh the joy of doing it was incredible……and so was the feeling of knowing that my bane-bane was smiling ever so much brighter at his aunt Ju-Ju.
    as i drove away i thanked the good Lord for helping me take those impulses HE provides and act on them and use them to bless someone in a samll, small way. it was that tug on the heart that said, "do it now". And i did. So can you. When it tugs your heart….do it. You will be blessed way more than the person you did it to. 🙂

  2. Anonymous

    it was last week that I talked to my 8 yr old son about the Bane-Bane Game. I told him that if he woudl like to play it throughout the day at school or wherever and all that it was simple…just 'random acts of kindness. "you know son – – just doing things just because… No one asks you to ` – – just because". Well, it just goes to show a mom that not everything we tell our young children….is what they 'hear'. 🙂 surprised?
    the story goes that that afternoon as i sat in line to pick him up from school that he had a bigger and brighter smile on his checks than normal! there he was, standing on the curb waiting for my car to get close enough where they would allow him to get in….and he was wiggling this kind of dance…an anxious dance of sorts. when he got into the car i couln't even get out "How was your day?" before he said in his loud (anyway) voice….. "MOM! I PLAYED THE BAM – BAM GAME TODAY AT SCHOOL !!" "The Bam-Bam game?" i said. Oh no honey you mean the Bane-Bane game. "Oh ok mommy. Yes. The Bane-Bane game….i played it today!" (he was so excited)
    he went on to explain to me that at recess he was on a swing and that all the swings were taken. he said that at recess if all swings get taken at the beginning it's really hard to ever get one, because no one wants to give theirs up. (sounds to me like it's a game of "i've got one and the more you want it…the longer I will swing!!)
    anyway he said that someone came up and really wished they had a swing. he said he could see it on her face. "and mom as she walked up I knew she wanted one and I jumped out of mine and held it for her and said 'here – – you can have mine'! I said, "how did that make you feel?" he calmly replyed in his sweet 8 yr. old mind and body, but with a smile from ear to ear….."good mom…it made me feel real, real good".
    it was as if he'd won a prise. As if he had been awarded a medal of heroism for the day at school. Money could not have made him feel any better for his 'random act of kindness'…..And the best part is that I asked him if he had told anyone else that he had done this good deed…..and he said "no mom – that would have ruined it". Duh! I knew it would…but I'm glad he did too. oh the sweetness of giving. it sure blesses the soul……..even for children.

    now YOU. Go. Bless someone today. Then post it.
    Not for your glory but for HIS ! our Savior!
    and for Bane's mommy and daddy.

    oh Bane…you are touching so many, many lives big and small. i see your endless smile…

  3. Anonymous

    "WE'RE HOME!!!" in through the door burst my son last night! "MOM! WE'RE HOME! where's Zander?" SHHHHHH! is all I could muster out…."shhhhh buddy. He is asleep. Why?" "Awh, man! I just got him something from Wal-Mart". His face sank knowing it would be in the morning before he could give it to his little brother.
    "Come here and show me what you got him Zade!" It was then that he came around the corner with two HUGE balls…..one under each arm! You know the balls they have in the middle of the isles in Wal-Mart that take up one whole buggy with just one? He and his sweet dad had venturned out to Wally World last night around 7:30.with my "list'..He was so sweet to do that for me. He does 'random acts of kindneww' all the time to which he is unaware. zade had taken his own money and had picked out a BIG HUGE Ball for his little brother. (I'm sure they had to have two buggies) I can't think of any other time that Zade had gotten his own money to spend on his baby brother. at least not without having to be coaxed by me if he did. I hated that zander would not recieve this special gift of kindness until day break, but if you could have shared with me the endless smile this morning zander had when he saw that BIG BALL that his big brother had gotten him…..it would have made it all worth waiting for!!!

    …this is C O N T I N U E D on the next post…it was too large for one post….

  4. Anonymous

    THIS IS C O N T I N U E D from above post……

    zander got up before anyone else this a.m. and came as usual to find me whom (as usual) was in our utility room ironing clothes for the entire family. He came in with fists rubbing eyes as he entered the bright lights from the darkness…I swooped him up squeezing him ever so tightly as I always have. it was right at that moment when I had to take a seat and just H O L D him just a little L O N G E R and a little T I G H T E R. i take time now. i take all the time it takes…sometimes things have to wait.
    it was sitting there that I held him and smelled his hair…the sweet precious smell of 'night-night'. the smell zander gets on his face from slobbering all over himslef at night from sucking his passy. to a stranger….that smell would be 'horrid'….but to a momma it's the most precious smell in existance! that's when I thought of my sister and how i know she aches for that 'smell'….how she would give her last breath for just one more smell of her sweet bane…..that's when I did it again! I smelled. and i smelled. and I smelled some more. I smelled for sonya! I smelled for Drason and Livi. I took the time to stop and to smell and savor all that our MIGHTY LORD gave me this beautiful morning and I didn't let TIME nor PLACE nor surcumstance stand in the way….I took it. I grasped it….and I did it in the memory of Bane Bane.
    it was after the holding and smelling that i said to zander…."zade got you something last night". and there in the corner on the chair was his BIG NEW SHINNY BIG BLUE BALL! It was like Christmas in August. He screamed and laughed and he screamed and laughed some more! we sat in the floor (5:45 a.m. mind you) and played and rolled and laughed and slobbered all over the place!! we made so much noise that JR and Zade 'had' to come and join us. It blessed zade's heart that he had made his little brother so happy. JR even made the comment that we should have gotten it sooner…B U T see….all things work together in GOD's timing….the ball was meant for now. it had truly blessed two precious lives in the wee hours of a Monday morning….A big brother and a BIG ball. Who would have ever 'thunk' it. 🙂
    zade asked me as we walked out to get in the car.."Mom – -did you play the Bane-Bane Game yesterday?" I said.."No son, I don't think I played it yesterday"> he quickly said…"well, I did…I bought my brother a ball and he liked it a lot!" I put my arm around him as we walked arm and arm to the car (little zander dragging his new lunch box behind us)and told him just how very proud of him I was and how very, very, very much I loved him. He looked up at me with those big brown eyes and said…"i'm going to play this game every day." I smiled a B A N E smile……