Alive Again

We’d been at it most of the night.

Papers were scattered, phone numbers scrawled on napkins.

There was a celebration to plan, and, like the one whom it honored, it had to be perfect.

Working out grief in the lines of a to-do list, I had been able, somehow, to suspend emotion.  To look at photos of those chubby cheeks, those soulful eyes, and say things like “it needs to be cropped … and reduce the exposure,” without letting it really sink in.

The next item on the to-do list was splicing video from Sonya’s Flip camera into the photo slideshow we were creating.

And that’s when I lost it.

I called two friends over, pointed to the screen, and we held each other and choked back sobs.  Objectivity went up in smoke, for this was no two-dimensional rendering of what he had looked like —  this boy in the boppy seat was our Bane Bane.

alive again.

His eyes danced to his Daddy’s words, and his arms reached so that it seemed as if you might lift him out of his seat, hug him tight again, smell his sweet baby skin.

That’s impossible, you say.  He’s gone.

And I say, “yes, you’re right.”

And then I say, “no, you’re wrong.”

Because I know that the truth of this scripture is more powerful than death’s grip.


Bane lives on in the stories of so many stories that I plan to share, one by one, on this site, so that all may see how a life lived well, though short, can change many.

I sat with Sonya early this morning, and she shared some of what the Lord is putting on her heart  — and Drason’s — in this difficult season.  Far from wallowing in grief and pity, they are already at work on the charity project that will be Bane’s legacy.  I cannot give details just yet, but I will say that there are big things in the works.  Big things that will leave a big impact, because we trust in  a God who is bigger than tragedy, stronger than death’s sting, and more loving than we could ever imagine.  Though my heart continues to ache with loss, it is also full of hope and inspiration as I witness what God is doing in the lives of my friends.

Stay here with us, and I guarantee you will be blessed.  Add this blog to your reader, or click on the “Subscribe” button on the left column to receive posts daily.  Come back to this space so that you’ll remember to pray — and so that you’ll see  how those prayers are bearing fruit, are helping others who hurt the way the Beasleys do.

Because every time this charity project touches a new life, we will feel a breath of heaven.

And our sweet Bane, though out of his earthly shell, will be

alive again.


  1. Anonymous

    Words can not express how I feel for your family in the loss of Sweet Little Bane – His pictures were precious – Our prayers are with your entire family – God will see you through the days ahead – Just go to him in prayer and he will help you – It won't be easy but you have lots of family and friends to rely on – Keep the Faith. Love Debbie and Scooty White

  2. Courtney

    Thank you sweet lady for writing, for sharing, for keeping Bane's story alive here, right here. God is not thru with Bane. God is just getting started with Bane. Because thru that precious boy and his incredible parents… lives are changing, souls are searching, Heaven is getting fuller, Christ is working.
    May God continue to work in each of us and may we in turn touch others and on and on all b/c of sweet butter brown.
    And oh what is in the works…our God is good.